FRIENDSHIP.........as they might call it??

well 1 thing i realized today;

it does not hurts when u fail;
but it hurts when your friend succeeds

well the events of today made me feel so low that it took around 1 hour of depressing sad music and lots of bakwaas tv to bring me back to my normal senses
although i didnt have much hopes but still the announcement of results made me f eel terrible and broken.
sorry but couldnot help my feelings??
even this is not a thing to be disclosed on fb as it may be taken in a wrong sense by many( although it is wrong)

well the above incident surely adds one more feather in my already over critical and depressing personality and one thing is for sure that i cannot share happiness with others leave alone the sorrows!!
i am actually obssessed with myself and could not find away to help me out of this negative vibes.may my life is destined to be survive and conquer these negative traits and infact i have become so habitual to them that i cannot even imagine my life in a positive manner

helpless???????

well may times in life we feel it almost impossible to decide on certain things even if those things are not of that critical importance!!!
that's because we have to choose among alternatives n we may seldom feel not to leave any option behind
many of my friends are quite firm decision makers and rarely face this dilemma but the biggest tragedy of may life is that i am a very weak decision maker and even gets stuck in taking simple illogical decisions(eg. topic for writing here)
this problem extends to almost every sphere of my life ranging from career to future plans to my likes dislikes and even my mode of choosing friends!!!
most of the times i have to take the rescue by speaking lie just to keepall the options open n not sticking to a particular choice
but even this stratyegy doesnot help me always n i often feel that the decision taken by me at the virtue of circumstance goes mostly against me which further weakens my decision handling capacity
seriously i get irritated by my behaviour only but could not see any ray of change

p.s. if you couldnot understand the article thats may be because i didnt wanted u too just to keep my options open for future!!!!!!!1

over excitedness????????

well i am writing here after a very long time as i was feeling short of topics but my today's topic is also very stupid and illogical.............cant help it!
well i am very fond of watching tv and particularly reality shows but never developed any emotions towards it
but today watching DID finale n waiting for results for 4 hrs i found dat i am actually praying for one of the contestant to win. (although i never care to vote due to high charges)
n when she finally win i dont know but a sudden excitement caught me and i felt overjoyed and brilliant unnecessarily!
although the winner has no connection with me and is not giving me anything in return but i genuinely felt for her n i am unable to understand my feelings
may b i am simply overreacting or creating a hype but atleast it gave me inspiration to write after such a long time

its been enough on protest but still i cannot restrain myself from writing on it. especially when the situation is changing rapidly .I could see many of my friends detaching themselves from the protest bcoz they feel that it is not coming to any results..........
i am not feeling the same and is confused whether i am very much into the cause of protest or is just supporting it as an excuse not to attend the classes????????
i still want to attend dharnas but with none of my friends going to it i hardly feel i will go for it
i am not here to motivate anyone as it is useless but just waiting(although probability is too less) of something really big to happen